The sentence contains offensive content. Cancel Submit. Your feedback will be reviewed. I don't know about you but I don't know about you, but I'm going to bed. Translations of I don't know about you but Need a translator? Translator tool. Browse I bet idiom. I Bond. I can't think idiom. I declare idiom. I don't know how, what, why, etc.
I don't know idiom. I don't mind if I do idiom. None of this opens me up to be desired as a person, for my conversation or my companionship, I Dont Know What I LIke About You. No matter. I Dont Know What I LIke About You look good, so that makes me "feel" good. No one cares who made my sunglasses or whether my underwear is merely Hanes from the corner Duane Reade. I care, of course, but all these things are peacock's plumage, beautiful articles that hide the man who feels unworthy and undesirable and therefore questions who would miss him if he were gone.
Then just like that, I pierce my own good feeling from inside the armor. I want to like myself. I want to love myself. I want to be happy with my life. What I'm learning is that I'm I Dont Know What I LIke About You in my own skin.
That seems crazy to me, but it's the truth. At 42 I'm uncomfortable in the skin of a gay man. I think that has everything to do with my feelings of unworthiness and undesirability. I just don't like myself. I'm looking for I Dont Know What I LIke About You "liking" in order to feel good about me.
That's never going to cut it. I have to be proud of me: my life, my accomplishments, my choices. I have held my head up with pride and confidence and know that I matter, that my ideas and opinions matter.
I have been that catty queen who snarkily strikes down another gay man with bitchy comments. I have also been the gay man who feels like he's the one being judged by the catty queens. This behavior in our own community, coupled with my own insecurities, has led me to a place of not taking love chances on anyone. I don't want to put myself out there in the world. I'm a bystander instead of a participant.
It makes me so angry. That anger, initially used as blame and placed on others, really reflects back on me. I'm the reason that I don't go out. I care too much about what other people think because I don't think too highly of myself.
Here's where unworthiness and undesirability come into play and become immobilizing. I'm not suicidal. I'm a lonely gay man who has let his feeling that no one would care if he lived or died become a room whose walls are closing in. There is no freedom in this room. I'm not saying that I think walking into one of the New York City gay bars -- say, Posh, Therapy, or Industry -- is going to change that.
I Dont Know What I LIke About You not saying that someone I'm interested in showing me a little interest is going to change that. Especially when these things can change over time. So in the interest of reconnecting with ourselves and each other, I thought up a list of questions for us both to answer on our next date night. This would make a really fun list of questions for a girls night too. Some I Dont Know What I LIke About You these questions are very basic, and some can get pretty deep rather quickly.
Would you like to sponsor a theme? Click here. Facebook Twitter Pinteret Instagram.
Betty And Joseph - John Addison - Joseph Andrews (CD), El Soldado - Las Antorchas - Las Antorchas (Vinyl, LP), Sea Of Trees - King Gizzard And The Lizard Wizard - 12 Bar Bruise (Cassette, Album), Imagination - Erasure - Даёшь Музыку MP3 Collection (CD), 44 Leningrad - Санкт Илов (CD, Album), El Choclo - Tango Siempre - Tangled (CD, Album), Sunset On Ibiza (Above & Beyond Remix), Vidala Navideña - Los Yungas (2) - El Charango (Vinyl, LP, Album), Le Facteur - Georges Moustaki - Le Meteque (Vinyl, LP, Album)
8 comments